Super Shrek Brogres
by Haden64
Summary: After leaving his true love, Shrek moves in with the world-reknown Mario Brothers, and things are about to shift into Maximum Ogredrive.
1. Chapter 1: Shrek Leaves his Love

Shrek was depressed. He had to leave his one true love, Shadow the Hedgehog.

"Wait Shrek don't go!"

"I'm sorry, but my time here is ogre..."

He drove his Shrekmobile to the local tavern to drown his sorrows in alcohol, after that, who knew what he was going to do to himself...

He entered the bar, solemnly greeted all the regulars, and asked the bar tender to give him shots of the strongest stuff they had; he didn't want to remember this night.

"It's-a not easy being green, eh?" a voice chimed in. It was the bar tender, who Shrek had just now noticed seemed to be a plumber as well.

"I can't help but ogree, laddeh" Shrek drunkenly replied.

"Look at-a you" the bar tending plumber said, "You're sitting here, all alone on-a Saturday night-a. You don't-a seem like all of-a these other drunkards, what brings-a you here?" the plumber inquired.

"To be honest, I had to leave my one and only love, Shadow" Shrek said.

"Why's-a that?"

"I just had too. Things just weren't meeting my Shrekspectaions..." the benevolent ogre replied, "The worst part is, I had to leave junior as well..." a single waxy tear rolled down from his eye.

The plumber pondered this matter for a moment, and then an idea struck him. "Well, do you-a need a place to stay?" he asked Shrek.

"Yes, preferably as swamp-like as possible laddeh" he sniveled a bit, "I'm sorry, this is just so ogrewhelming for me..."

"No no, it's-a no big deal. Well, if you need a place to stay, I'll ask my bro if we can rent out our-a guest room to-a you" The plumber said.

"That would be very un-dreck" our ogre friend replied. "Sorry, I didn't catch your name laddeh, who are you?"

"It's-a me, Luigi!" the plumber replied.

"Oh, well I'm Shrek" the ogre replied.

"I get off in about-a half an hour, let's-a meet out in-a the front then" Luigi said.

"Alright, laddeh" Shrek said.

30 minutes later, Luigi's shift was over, and he proceeded to lead Shrek to his house. It was a quaint cabin located near the woods, but to Shrek's dissapointment, there wasn't anything like a swamp to be seen for miles.

_This place could use a little bit more of an ogre's touch, _Shrek thought. _Maybe an onion garden or two...oh well, I guess it'll have to do for now._

They pulled up to the curb, and walked towards the front porch.

"This is a nice place you got here laddeh" Shrek said, "It could use a massive ogreload of swamp elements, though".

"You-a think so, eh?" Luigi replied.

Just then, the front door opened. It was none other than the famous Mario Mario. Upon seeing Shrek, he pulled Luigi aside.

"Uh, Luigi" he asked, "Who's-a that big green guy?"

"Oh, that's-a Shrek" Luigi replied, "He's-a looking for a place to-a stay, so I thought we could-a rent out the old guest room for-a him".

"Um, okay then" Mario turned to Shrek, he hated to be unwelcoming, so he said, "You can-a stay here as-a long as you like, uh, Shrek".

"Thanks, you're a real good broge, you know that?" Shrek asked.

Mario just stared at him, unsure of what to say next.

"Okay...well, uh, come inside then, I'll-a show you the guest room" he said.

Shrek gleefully charged into the house, Luigi followed suit. Mario just stood there on the porch, still baffled about what he just allowed to happen.


	2. Chapter 2: Shrek Leaps into Action

Mario lead Shrek into the guest room. Much to Shrek's delight, there was moss growing on the walls, and there was a damp patch on the ceiling. Very swamp like indeed.

"Sorry about this-a mess" Mario said, "We haven't-a been in this-a room for ages..."

"That's not a problem for me, laddeh" Shrek replied. He had already started settling in to the filth. "Thank's for takin' me in, by the way".

"You're welcome, I-a guess" Mario said. He shrugged, and left the room.

"Well, Shrek, do you-a need anything?" Luigi asked.

"You got any onions around here?"

"Sorry, we-a don't."

"That's quite alright laddeh, I'll just plant my own" Shrek pulled some onion seeds from his pocket (every ogre knows to never leave home without them) and planted them in the various moss patches around the room. "There, that'll do".

"Well, alright, if you're-a settled in, I'm-a gonna go to sleep, I've-a been working hard lately. G'Night, Shrek" Luigi said.

"Have a swell slumber, brogre" Shrek replied.

The next morning Shrek heard many distraught cries outside the house, and being the good Samaritan he was, he leapt out the window to see what was going on.

There were many mushroom people running around, crying out for help. It was none other than Bowser, flying around in a car with a face that reminded Shrek of the time he dated that carnival prostitute, commanding a bunch of Koopas.

"Gwahaha!" Bowser roared, "Soon, your kingdom will be nothing but rubble, and uh...more rubble! Gwahaha!"

Shrek saw the Mario Brothers leap into action, they made short work of Bowser's lackeys.

_Well, I can't just let these guys do this on their own, _Shrek thought, _I'm their guest, might as well help 'em out._

And with that, Shrek started into action. He grabbed one of the upturned Koopa shells expelled in the fight, and hurtled it at Bowser. It knocked him smack into a tree, blowing up his vehicle in a nanosecond. A new personal record for Shrek.

"Try messin' with my brogres, eh? Not on my watch" he proudly proclaimed.

"Urururgh..." was all the response Shrek got.

"Whoa..." Mario said. "That was-a truly amazing!"

"Magical things can happen when you keep yourself on a strict diet of onions and the tears of pathetic little Farquaads, laddeh" Shrek replied.

Luigi at this moment had never been more turned on in his entire life, he had something special here, and he planned to take full advantage of the situation in due time.


	3. Chapter 3: Shrek Gets Fired Up

Shrek was crowned a hero by the royal council of the Mushroom Kingdom, for his brave acts against the evil King Koopa, Bowser. He felt truly honored, and went out with the Mario Brothers that night to celebrate.

"Pints for everybody, on me!" Shrek exclaimed to the denizens of the tavern. Many drunken laughs were shared, and Shrek had just about completely forgotten about Shadow and Junior.

Luigi felt conflicted, he never had these kinds of feelings for someone before. Shrek was so heroic and courageous, how could he compare? Top it off with the fact that Shrek has just come off of another relationship, and his chances of ever romancing Shrek dwindled more and more as time went by.

But that was the least of his worries, as he would soon discover.

There had been reports of strange disappearances all over the kingdom, ranging from simple blocks being out of place, to full blown buildings vanishing into thin air. Shrek didn't think much of it until something horrible happened...

"My onions!" he cried out, "My entire crop...it's all gone, right ogre my head!"

And indeed that was true, the onion garden he started in his room was completely gone.

"Not even a single skin left..." Shrek sobbed. "That's it!" he choked through his tears, "I'm going to find the Farquaad responsible for this, and give him an ogrepowered beating like they'll never forget!" Shrek blasted All Star by Smash Mouth from his Mp3 player, and bursted out of the house. Luigi heard the commotion, and followed, afraid Shrek would soon be in grave danger.

"Shrek!" Luigi called, "Shrek! Wait up!"

Shrek screeched to a halt, and allowed Luigi to catch up.

"Why do you want to come along, brogre?" Shrek asked.

"Because..." Luigi said, "I care for-a you, and I don't-a want you to disappear, like-a everything else-a..."

He stared into Shrek's eyes, and teared up a bit. Shrek understood how he felt, and let him come along.

Shrek pulled out his Oniomatic 3000, his specialized onion detector. There were many like it, but this one was his, and his alone. He set the range to "extra-dimensional", and followed the trail. He and Luigi were lead to a giant stone structure. The entrance was blocked by foliage far too thick to simply pass through.

"Wait, I-a got an idea!" Luigi exclaimed. "Wait here, Shrek"

Luigi set off, and Shrek calmly awaited his return. When he finally did, he had brought with him two odd looking plants.

"These are-a Fire Flowers" he told Shrek, "One bite of-a these things, and you'll-a get super fire powers!"

Shrek liked this idea very much, and scarfed down one of the Fire Flowers whole. He felt an odd, yet comfortably warm sensation in his belly. His clothing turned white and green, and his hand suddenly shot out a burst of flame at the foliage, which was immediately burned to a crisp.

"Now that's what I call Shrektacular, laddeh" Shrek said.

Luigi dawned one of the suits himself, and they set off into the structure...


	4. Chapter 4: The Shrekoning

It was dark and damp inside the structure, Luigi would normally be scared, but not with Shrek by his side.

"My Oniomatic 3000 is pickin' up a strong signal dead ahead, brogre" he told Luigi, "Whoever, or whatever, is causing all of this is right through...THIS door". He pointed towards a rickety, wooden door. Shrek slowly opened it, and he and Luigi found themselves in a psychedelic and disorienting room, filled with twisted walkways and blue orbs encasing many of the objects and people who had disappeared, including Shrek's onion crop. In the center of the room, an all too familiar figure stood, waiting.

"Hello Shrek" the figure said, "It's been a while".

"What...no! It can't be...SHADOW?!" Shrek cried out.

"In the flesh, darling" Shadow replied, "It's not only me, though". Shadow held up Shrek's own flesh and blood, Junior.

"Son...what has Shadow done to you?!"

Junior was encased in a tight blue force field, keeping him from escaping. He was pretty battered up.

"Oh my-a God..." Luigi faintly said.

"Alright, Shadow" Shrek said, "What is it you want?"

"I simply want you, darling. And if I can't have you, then the entire Multiverse must pay the price". Shadow then opened up a green rift, and fed it some of the blue orbs floating around the room. It grew larger, and shook the room.

"There is an alternative, however" Shadow said, "if you enter this rift with me and Junior, then I shall spare the Multiverse, and we'll be able to live happily in our own little plane of existence".

"Ogre my dead body, Shadow" Shrek said.

"How about your little friend's body?" Shadow asked.

Shadow assaulted Luigi with an onslaught of Chaos Spears.

"Make your decision, honey!" Shadow insanely cried.

Shrek had no choice. He couldn't sit here and let everybody die over his want for a better relationship.

"I'll do it, Shadow" Shrek said.

"Alright then" Shadow stopped assaulting Luigi, "come along Junior".

Shadow and Junior entered into the rift. Shrek solemnly turned to Luigi.

"I'm sorry, brogre, but I have to go with Shadow. I can't let everyone die over this..."

"It's-a okay..." Luigi sniveled, "I understand...just-a know, though...I'll always-a love you..."

Shrek nodded. "I'll cherish our time together forever".

And with that, his time there was ogre. He leapt into the rift. The room almost immediately reverted back to the empty space it once was.

"Goodbye, brogre..." Luigi said.


	5. Chapter 5: A Whisper in the Night

Luigi sat on his bedside. His brother was fast asleep, most likely dreaming of an Italian cuisine. Luigi however had been awake for hours, he couldn't stop thinking about Shrek.

He decided that a good night's sleep might deter these thoughts from his head, so he layed down and tried to get some shut eye.

Suddenly, he heard a voice whisper in his ear, "It's not ogre yet, laddeh".

Luigi sat straight up, and witnessed a green figure escape out of the window.

He slept happily that night.


End file.
